[For the first time since he's sat down with her, Law feels like maybe he hasn't done something completely wrong. Rinwell's sobs slow and at the very least, he feels as if he's brought her comfort.
He knows it can't fix very much, and he can hear from the way she responds that Rinwell is still as a loss. But she seems much less desperate than a moment ago—even if it ends up being fleeting, it's something.
And he imagines it'll be fleeting, because as Rinwell asks how she can forgive herself, he realizes he can't answer that. He hasn't actually forgiven himself at all yet—he's still carrying the weight of his guilt close to the vest.]
I just think... as parents, they'd forgive you, no matter what. They're the ones who taught you everything, so didn't they like, have to know there was a chance or a reason you'd use it someday? I'm not sure. I can't really go putting too many words in their mouths, I just think they'd forgive you, because they loved you.
[Law's head dips as the images of Zephyr flash through his mind. How he didn't want to fight when they reunited. How he just wanted Law to come back with him. How he laid his life on the line for every belief, and to the very end, he still called out to Law, even as his life was draining from him.
There's a lot Law doesn't know and understand. A lot. Not about the way Zephyr lived, now about how to overcome his own guilt, and not how to help Rinwell any more. But with a shaky, quiet breath, he offers the one thing he keeps telling himself.]
Forgiving yourself... I think it just takes time. Maybe a long, long time.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2021-10-08 07:57 pm (UTC)He knows it can't fix very much, and he can hear from the way she responds that Rinwell is still as a loss. But she seems much less desperate than a moment ago—even if it ends up being fleeting, it's something.
And he imagines it'll be fleeting, because as Rinwell asks how she can forgive herself, he realizes he can't answer that. He hasn't actually forgiven himself at all yet—he's still carrying the weight of his guilt close to the vest.]
I just think... as parents, they'd forgive you, no matter what. They're the ones who taught you everything, so didn't they like, have to know there was a chance or a reason you'd use it someday? I'm not sure. I can't really go putting too many words in their mouths, I just think they'd forgive you, because they loved you.
[Law's head dips as the images of Zephyr flash through his mind. How he didn't want to fight when they reunited. How he just wanted Law to come back with him. How he laid his life on the line for every belief, and to the very end, he still called out to Law, even as his life was draining from him.
There's a lot Law doesn't know and understand. A lot. Not about the way Zephyr lived, now about how to overcome his own guilt, and not how to help Rinwell any more. But with a shaky, quiet breath, he offers the one thing he keeps telling himself.]
Forgiving yourself... I think it just takes time. Maybe a long, long time.